STOP PRESS: Katie Price Launches Magazine

So, front page news today is that Katie Price, aka Jordan has launched her own magazine. Thanks to the Guardian for the wonderfully worded feature on this life changing event.

 

You thought she'd sold every last newsworthy detail of her life to the gossip magazines, but you thought wrong. She's been hoarding the real gold, planning for the day when she would take the press on at their own game and emerge victorious, armed with the kind of news any journalist would kill for.

One after another, the head-spinning revelations come. "I like to clean and sweep the kitchen after cooking." "I really hate being cold." And the press' personal favourite, "I hate having my car's petrol warning light on." 

I didn't think I'd ever say this, but for once I think the Showbiz Editor at the Sun has the right idea (although I fear it may be a case of pot calling kettle black)


"Jordan has her own magazine out today," wrote the Sun's showbiz editor, Gordon Smart. "It's glossy and full of shite. A true reflection of the woman at the helm."

 ALRIGHT NARCISSUS, BACK TO YOUR POOL.

P.S
I'm aware this post may come off as a little sarcastic, mostly down to The Guardian's absolute slating of our favourite bronzed goddess, but at least she has huge breasts, that must count for something right? (What do you mean you hadn't noticed?)


P.P.S
I understand to many of you this is BIG NEWS. Feel free to add as many 'OMG's' as you see fit in the comment box below.