We women put ourselves through hell and back in an attempt to look, and feel great. From skyscraper heels which give us blisters, to epilating, waxing, acid peels and eyebrow shaping. We must be completely mad.
There’s a saying which goes:
“Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at. This determines not only most relations between men and women, but the relation of women to themselves. The surveyor of woman in herself is a male, the surveyed female. Thus, she turns herself into an object.”
(Berger 1972, 45, 47)
In my mind I only half agree with the above quote, I think that while women may want to feel attractive to the opposite sex, it's mostly the case that women quite often dress and preen themselves for other women, a competitive 'keeping up with the Jones'' type act.
Have you ever binged, purged, or starved yourself? Have you or someone you know experienced life with an eating disorder? Have you had or considered liposuction? Breast enhancement? A thigh lift? Botox? Collagen injections? Have you ever stayed home from socialising because you weren’t happy with your looks? Have you ever skipped a work out because you felt self-conscious about your body? Have you ever secretly bought diet pills, laxatives, or diuretics to take weight off fast? These are all ways that we come to see “constraining, enslaving, and even murderous” conditions as “liberating, transforming, and life-giving,” scholar Susan Bordo says.
We all spend a lot of our lives worrying about what others think. We spend even more time staring into the mirror prodding and poking the parts of ourselves we’re least happy with, sporadically embark on fitness campaigns which leave us exhausted, diets which leave us bloated and beauty regimes which leave us penniless!
So what is it that makes us so critical of ourselves and put ourselves through ‘beauty regime hell’ for often less than satisfactory results.
‘Try Something New Today’ with these pointers to a less judgemental you!
· Go on a Media Fast: Choose a day, a week, a month, or longer to steer clear of as much media as you can. That way, you can see how your life is different without all those messages and images, and when you return to viewing and reading popular media, you will be more sensitive to the messages that hurt you and those that are unrealistic.
· Be a Positive Example: Research and real-life experience make it clear that when women and girls speak negatively about their bodies and their appearance, they negatively impact those around them. That goes for women talking about themselves in hateful ways in front of their children and family members, girls that degrade themselves in front of their friends, or any other time a woman or girl says awful things about herself in front of anyone near. Start today with a goal that you will never again say something negative about your appearance aloud, and soon the negative self-talk that floats through your mind will become less and less prevalent, too.
· Eat well: it’s not about dieting, binging or starvation – our bodies need certain things in order to function properly. It’s a fact. You’ll have been told before and we’ll tell you again. Choose fruit, vegetables, delicious salads, lovely grilled meat and yes, you can treat yourself every now and then (Feeling guilty is a wasteful emotion)
· Take up an exercise that you actually enjoy: Try something new which doesn’t wear you out and makes significantly differences to your body and how you feel about yourself. Yoga, pilates, running, Zumba. Whatever it is, make sure you enjoy it, go as often as you can and get yourself some exercise clothes you’re actually comfortable in (It makes a huge difference!)
· Tell the Truth: When you think a nice thought about someone in your life –– tell them. Now that you realize how many negative messages we hear each day, counteract those lies! Choose to compliment the girls and women in your life for character traits, actions or talents you admire about them. The compliments that stick with you for a lifetime are those that acknowledge your valuable qualities, like a good attitude, selflessness, talents, honesty and so much more that has nothing to do with a cute outfit or pretty hair (those are nice too!).
· Finally, give yourself a break: we know it’s hard, but 99% of us are never going to be Kate Moss or Heidi Klum. Yes it’s sad, in fact it’s royally unfair. But deal with it, there’s plenty of other things that matter much more in life. Standing in front of the mirror is wasting precious time you could (and should) be spending elsewhere!
